


Talking Dirty

by kavikdante33



Series: Talking Dirty [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dirty Talk, Humor, M/M, bestiality reference, it's funnier in enochian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 00:29:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1919901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kavikdante33/pseuds/kavikdante33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's millennia of experience is more suited to the battlefield than the bedroom. But that doesn't mean he isn't willing to try and please Dean with a new skill. He just probably shouldn't have asked Gabriel for advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talking Dirty

**Author's Note:**

> Should be working on God's Red Pen. Instead I got side tracked by a post on tumblr.

“Come on, Cas, yeah right there babe.”

 

“Yeah, you feel so good Cas. Right, ah, there. Your cock is going so deep; it’s hitting all the right spots.”

 

“Feel how tight and hot I am for you, Cas. All for you.”

 

“You enjoy fucking the Righteous Man, huh, angel? Only you Cas, I only said yes to you.”

 

“Tell me how much you enjoy fucking me Cas. Dipping your heavenly wick into a human. C’mon Cas, talk dirty to me.”

 

“BLEEEAAAAATTTTTT!”

 

Dean’s body fell back onto the bed, no longer clinging tight to Cas’. He scrambled to sit up against the headboard, mind wildly racing. It was hard (in more ways than one) to think what could have caused Cas to act that way. Hormones were a bitch.

 

“What the fuck Cas!?”

 

“You wanted me to ‘talk dirty’ to you Dean. Would you have preferred it in Enchocian?

 

“Preferred what in Enchocian? You just freakin’ bleated at me Cas! In the middle of sex! Did I break you or something?

 

“No.”

 

“Than what the fuck Cas?”

 

Cas aligned his head to side and squinted at Dean. Dean recognized it as Cas’ ‘humans are so strange’ look rather than ‘puny being, I will destroy you’ expression. Which okay, meant that the sex wasn’t going to get him killed. Despite telling Sam that he wanted to die in bed with a gorgeous partner, Dean was pretty sure that sleeping with an angel was a one way ticket back to hell. He rather wanted to avoid that for as long as possible.

 

Cas sighed in exasperation.

 

“I spoke coarsely in the manner you wanted me to, Dean. Was that not what you requested?’

 

“You spoke coarsely…Cas, was that you trying to talk dirty?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“How in the hell, is _bleating_ , talking dirty?”

 

“It’s breeding with the mouth of a goat.”

 

“…”

 

“Gabriel suggested it.”

 

“…!”

 

“He was very helpful in recommending several translations of pornographic phrases when I mentioned how interested you were in it. I still don’t understand what it means to ‘fuck a duck’. Is not bestiality illegal in most places? Wouldn’t the size difference of your genitalia be incompatible with that of the duck?”

 

“Dean, why are you trying to smother yourself with that pillow? Isn’t that unconducive to your breathing? Oh, unless you want to try auto-asphyxiation. Gabriel lent me material on the subject if you want to practice. Dean? Dean!”


End file.
